Alumni Magazine

Hi, Emily,

So good to hear from you.  Gosh, has it been 15 years already?!  What a kick. 

You were kind enough to ask what I’ve been up to all these years since graduation.  Well, this year, I’m excited to report, I’ve converted an old desk drawer I finally cleaned out into a Hat Drawer.  It’s true!  An entire drawer, just for hats.

If you didn’t know any better, you might assume the drawer is full of pens or documents, or maybe a hole punch.  Nope, hats! 

Not only is it a great storage solution, it affords me opportunities to say clever things like, “It’s probably in the Hat Drawer.”  Or sometimes when I see a hat on a chair or table, I’ll playfully scold it and ask, “What do you think you’re doing outside of the Hat Drawer?”

Anyway, that keeps me pretty busy and fulfilled. 

Since I’ve been able to save a bundle on hat storage this year, I would like to pay some of it forward by contributing to the Annual Giving Campaign.  Thank you for reminding me.

Can’t wait to hear what everyone else is up to.

Bye for now,

Alice

Ask Fran

Dear Fran,

An ex recently contacted me about resuming our friendship.  I don’t think she means anything romantic by it; she just wants to chat sometimes.  While I don’t in any way wish her ill, I guess I’m still hesitant to resume a friendship with someone who let me down so hard.  What should I do? 

Confused in Carthage

Dear Confused,

I’m not one for grudges.  But I also don’t like people.  I do enjoy snacks.  And I enjoy when people who give me snacks pet areas of my body that I can’t reach, even if we have quarreled in the past. 

Let me back up.  I am not one for grudges, mostly.  Three things:

1.     To the cat that hangs out in the driveway, know that the porridge of my daytime dreaming is sweetened by thoughts of your demise.

2.     I will shake into ash all squirrel life on this planet. 

3.     Deliverers of mail, your children’s children will feel the sting of my incisors on their calves and wish they’d never been born. 

But mostly, I don’t hold grudges. 

From one wary traveler to another, I encourage you to ask yourself, is your ex a mailman cat or squirrel?  Does she come bearing snacks?  If so, in exchange for what actions are these snacks offered?  

If you answered “no”, “yes”, and “tolerable ones” to the questions presented, I say give it a whirl.  However, if at any point she touches your feet, it is your right to terminate the relationship immediately.

Whatever you decide, the past is for learning.  Our allegiance ought lie with the present and future prospect of snacks.